i mean it could be worse on my end — but honestly just grateful to be healthy at this point in time and that I’m lucky enough to be able to stay home (which btw is a huge privilege and if you’re lucky like me, you should stay the fuck home to protect those who don’t have that choice and are keeping this world running for everyone else right now! )
Happy 24th birthday, lady. So happy we’ve been able to cross paths a few more times lately after a long period of abstinence. Wouldn’t be me without having met you, you make my life and the world so much more interesting, funny and beautiful! Can’t wait for our next dubious spontaneous activities together! Until then! Salud!
On this nth day inside, I’ve started to oddly miss manners class with Emma, Natalie and I googled a Linksman’s Gadget, created a voice recording of my dolphin mating sounds, asked myself why twilight is still not real #teamedward and wondered if vampires are immune to corona virus, Natalie started considering letting me cut her hair (or is it a mop? ), combed my fleece jacket, becoming a specialist at making smoothies the color of sewage, and started researching anti-wrinkle pillows.
human life is so fragile. we depend on the health of the earth and all of its creatures. to me, it’s incredibly infuriating how much research goes into investigating outer space and the possibility for humans to relocate to another planet after we destroy this one. we know much more about outer space than we do about the earth’s oceans! humans have been playing master and god for far too long. we are far more insignificant than we think we are. remember, Mother Earth gave rise to human life; it can just as easily take it away.
bella vita #tbt
sunsets: a daily reminder of the passing of time —day turns to night, one day goes, another one comes. as i am approaching my twenty-fourth year of life, i too am transitioning into a new phase of life. my mid-twenties will come and they will go, as will my thirties, an age always so far in the later, it could never be in the sooner —and then you are thirty. parts of me will go. versions of me will be lost to the aether forever. lines will appear on my face to tell the world about where and who i have been and maybe whether I’m still a dreamer or not. slowly my body will become all used up —by me, by everything around me, the corrosion of which i also partake in — a life in constant negotiation— for each give a take, a coming and a going. Transitions like these appear hard, it is hard to accept that we are only visitors here, and we too, are of a transient nature — but they can also be as easy and as beautiful as watching the sun as it sets.
as a german girl often mistaken for an american girl in both america and germany, but then also clearly foreign with an accent from minnesota or the great white north, or wait is it canada?? i really don’t know who i am anymore, despite the efforts of so many to explain to me who i am — as this is sort of how identity functions in our society. so fuck it - now i just identify as a freaking pisces from the universe because yeah maybe astrology is a pseudoscience, but so are other man-made cookie cutter labels and the associations we make about and assumptions we project onto others based on these. also it’s not an accent, i just like to articulate my words— diction is done with the tip of the tongue and the teeth #piscesszn
cheersing to our friendship and all the fuckbois sliding back into @its_nat_duh dms the night before valentine‘s day 🥂🤷♀️
since i got back to la about two weeks ago, i’ve had two migraines, a second quarter life crisis, strep throat, fat burger, as well as a fight with my new housemate about the central heating, many mixed feelings about living in this city after all, hit on by my neighbor on my way to the pharmacy, and an aloe plant. i have hope for myself tho because i also ordered a mini bar for the apartment, which i was able to construct only and only because @its_nat_duh essentially did it for me — i thought this was the perfect impuls-buy because although i’m curing the many plagues la and adulting thrusts upon me with kale, chlorophyll, advil, 9-hr long youtube videos of binaural beats, and various antibiotics, i think it’ll be an effective incentive for my friends to come over and visit me at my sickbed.
i hate goodbyes— saying goodbye to an old year, saying goodbye to friends who live far or close, as we must go our separate ways once more, hop on that next train again, make it to the next stop of our journeys. luckily each goodbye is always followed by a new beginning, each i miss you, by another hello, each departure by another arrival, each goodbye kiss, by a next first kiss. To 2020, and all the opportunities it’ll bear for us to welcome old and new friends on the doorsteps of our homes, all the farewell hugs and welcome backs, to sharing this year with those we love, will learn to love, and continue to love in memory.